Beginning musings

Today I threw a pot (soon to be a pitcher, assuming all goes well tomorrow) using approximately 5lbs of clay. It's far from perfect, but it represents an accomplishment in the past three days that I hoped for. Since Sunday, I have spent only about 2-4 hours a day on the wheel, but with the assistance of Dick (my instructor for throwing) and the assistance of confidence due to being the most experienced potter taking this course (of the three of us, that is) I have been trying things I know to be challenging for me, and tomorrow I may try to throw several things of the same weight and attempt to make them all to the same shape. Frightening prospect. Today I attempted to duplicate a vase form that Dick helped me throw yesterday, and it was only somewhat successful - the basic form was the same, but specific details were off. Oh well.

What I'm learning the most about is relaxation. In the past, I would become so sore after throwing that even attempting to wedge clay became even more laborious than I usually find it. The entire process, while enjoyable, was sustained through tension; part of this is no doubt due to my insecurity regarding my throwing abilities, something that is blissfully absent right now (again, being the most experienced by a fair shot), but to be fair, I had never really thought about tension as being a hindrance to my ability to successfully pot. Dick is very emphatic about the cultivation of relaxed muscles, and only specifies when tension is appropriate.

I'm making up for my expertise in the wheel room with a lack of ability and design in the hand building room, though. Theresa has been hand building for years, and makes the smoothest, most even pinch pots. Bev is likewise very adept, and adds on top years of design experience and ideas that push her creations past simple pinch pots into something sophisticated. Meanwhile, I struggle to have a bowl that does not resemble a bird-feeder in shape, and can only smooth my pots if I use something like a wet sponge. That particular part has been rather discouraging, although I am excited to see what the Raku kiln does with our little pieces. However, we are beginning something new tomorrow, and it is up to me to decide what I make. I either have far too many ideas or none at all; the effect is the same either way with me becoming paralyzed through indecision (not uncommon for me, as you may know). I'm thinking about goblets or candleholders, but given my track record with handbuilding, I suppose it doesn't matter what I attempt to make; it's unlikely to be something I like regardless.

I have, sitting on the side table next to me, a lamp clearly made by Dick and glazed and fired by Barbara (she has arthritis, and so cannot really throw anymore) as well as the small seascape bowl generously given to me by Rosemarie. I find both of these inspirational, which is necessary because as D & B talk to us, each day over a meal or three, about their trials with kilns and glazes and how expensive materials and equipment tend to be, I find it hard to maintain hope for my possible future as a potter. When I visited Rosemarie, she was quite encouraging, which I found to be fantastic, but while Dick and Barbara are far from discouraging (and I like that Dick will set Theresa and Bev on one project and me on another one - little ego boost there) I get the feeling that they don't quite believe that I will actually pot professionally as they do. It seems as though Bev, who is admittedly much closer to it than I am due to having worked and saved money for as long as I've been conscious, is taken a little more seriously regarding her plans to pot. She does make all the interested noises (because she is interested, and I quite like Bev, and this isn't envy... just strangeness) but I've never had much trade in anything other than watching intensely, nodding when eye contact is made, and simply trying to show my interest through silence. Ok, when I talk about it, it clearly sounds ridiculous, but it is sort of a philosophy - I don't want to seem like I'm trying so hard that it's obviously false, and sometimes when people act that way around me I feel sort of patronized... and at the same time, I do already know some of the things that D & B are saying, although they obviously aren't quite aware of it, or something, so it's not really interesting news to me. Interesting, maybe, but not news.

Anyway, on to pottery talk. We've been working with earthenware, or terra cotta, which I expected to be rather more groggy than it is; it's actually quite beautiful to throw with and I think is my preference over stoneware now (which does tend to hurt more). It's also a great color on its own, which is one of the things I like about porcelain, but is much, much easier to throw than that beautifully expensive clay, so is more practical as well. We're going to be decorating our pieces with slip, which I have never really used much before (being so fascinated by the shiny of glazes) so that should be an interesting experience - I just hope I don't ruin pieces whose shapes I like by painting on stupid little designs, as tends to happen more often than I would like. D & B use a small electric kiln, but mostly their gas kiln for reduction firings - apparently they are more expensive (logical) and therefore rare, but they are essentially all I'm used to at this point, as RISD almost always had us fire our stuff at cone 10 reduction. It is part of the reason that the glazes run so beautifully together and create those stunning effects, so I'm going to have to think about that someday. They've talked about how much clays cost at bulk, and we've seen prices for lustres and machinery, but I am somewhat concerned about the prices of glazes... but it's bound to be extremely different in America due to using different materials (well, clay's bound to cost differently too, I guess) and all that. I am also somewhat concerned about the trial-and-error method, almost as much as I am about the need to keep scrupulous records of everything so as to figure out what works... I am not great at either of those things, especially the latter which would trip up the former. I dislike the idea of having to throw out an entire kiln that simply did not work for one reason or another; that's not only expensive clay and glaze gone to waste, but it's also going to be on the electricity bill. Not good. Who knows where I'll be financially in ten years, but I would be surprised if I ever supported myself on pottery, given how difficult it is to start without a large investment.

Anyway, I've sort of written myself to sleep here, so I'll try to cover some things I've missed when I come back tomorrow (probably after my afternoon nap - let the others laugh, but I only seem to be productive once I've slept an extra hour in the middle of the day).

-lorraine